But Why Me?

These past few months I’ve been reminded of the downward escalator analogy I always use to explain my faith journey. If I’m not actively running forward and upwards, but rather decide that I’m good where I am, I somehow end up farther back than I was originally. I might not be running away from God on purpose, but apathy is sneaky in that it does it for us without us realizing it. It’s true that I had to take a break from writing in order to finish my thesis, but to be honest I have been struggling with getting back into it because of fear that comes from forgetting who He says I am.

When I decided to follow God’s call on my life to start the site and speak out, I knew I had to make a commitment to be completely open, even when I’d really rather not. I hesitated writing this but realized that what young women need is to know that even after you move out of dark seasons, even when you are walking close to God, there are going to be days, weeks, and months where you don’t feel like being faithful, or your heart has not caught up to your head where your worth and purpose are concerned.

Even when you have come to know your identity in Him, there are times when sneaky little lies can slip into your head and heart to make you doubt yourself. I was struggling with the “who am I that God would use me” thoughts. Who am I that He would trust me to be a resource to other women? I’m not famous. I don’t have a billion followers. I didn’t spend years in seminary. Why does He want me to speak out about my experiences, what do I really have to offer? But the truth is He made me the way I am, and the way you are, to be uniquely equipped to do a job that no one else can. I realized from mentoring my wonderful high school girls is that, yeah maybe people more well known have a louder voice, but what they needed was the right voice. A voice that had been where they’ve been, but knows what comes on the other side of the hard seasons of being a young woman in today’s culture.

I realized that God let me be where I’ve been so that I could do the works and reach the people He planned for me specifically. Sometimes, especially in high school or college, it can be hard to not want to be someone else. But there’s peace found when you realize you are not called to control His plans for you, all that’s required is for you to be faithful and respond to His calling.

So next time you think you aren’t important enough or good enough for something, remember that He uses the imperfect people for the greatest jobs. You don’t have to have all the answers, but the world needs you to use your unique experiences to be relatable and honest. No calling is insignificant in His eyes because every person you come into contact with is incredibly precious. So let’s recommit to not worrying about what He does with our callings, or how unprepared we might feel, and just focus on being who He made us and who He has called us to reach.