Free To Be Known

I’ve been hesitant to do this for a while because of the unknown that comes with an undertaking such as this one. What if I say the wrong thing, what if no one cares, what if, what if, what if? But I realized that I’m not supposed to be in charge of where this story goes or how it plays out, because all that is asked of me is to be completely vulnerable and open about where I’ve been and what I discovered to get me to where I am. I don’t have a laundry list of degrees in human behavior, but I know what it’s like to be a young woman who never felt worthy or enough for others. I also know what it’s like to look at the years ahead and see no hope for a change in how I felt, how I saw myself, or how I believed others saw me. I know what it’s like to feel utterly alone even when surrounded by so many people because of the things I kept hidden out of fear. I’ve been that girl, and seeing that same pain and deep longing in the young women around me breaks my heart for them. All of these things compel me to share my deeply personal, difficult, and wonderful journey out of the darkness of unworthiness and into a life, not of perfection, but strength and contentment with who I was created to be. My prayer is that even just one young woman would read this and find she is not alone and it will not always be this way, even though I know how impossible that is to believe in the midst of the struggle.

I had always struggled with self image and the belief I was ever "enough" for others. However, in college it had escalated into an eating disorder, which impacts you not just physically, but unfortunately permeates your every thought, relationship, and action. At the same time, and likely related, I went through years of struggling with doubt in my faith even after being raised in the church. These years were extremely difficult and caused me to close myself off, even to those closest to me, but lead me to learn the great joy that comes with seeing and being content with who I was created to be. There is nothing as freeing as letting those in your life to truly know YOU. Not the always put together, nothing is ever wrong, version of you, but the messy, imperfect, human version. We are fearful that someone may reject us if we let them see this true side of us, I've been there, but one of the many things I've learned through my experiences is that it is so worth it to be content with yourself and let others see that YOU are awesome!

It is impossible to fit all my stories and experiences in one short post, hence the idea for this website. I plan to be completely real with where I have been and how it allowed to finally get me to where I am. I hope that my vulnerability brings comfort to others and allows truth to be spoken into your lives!